My actions don't match what I know is right.

I find it silly how what I know doesn't always coincide with how I behave. The specific thing that brings up that comment is knowing things about accomplishing goals. One thing that is pretty clear is that if you constantly put time and effort into something, then for better or worse something will happen regarding what you are trying to achieve. Trying does not always lead to success, but sitting around hoping never works. And if every single day something is done towards achieving a goal, the likelihood of getting somewhere is pretty high. It's too easy to go a week, a month, then a year without actually doing anything to accomplish what you say want to do. But if every single day 30 minutes is spent doing something meaningful or helpful towards your mission, things will happen faster than you'd expect. Actions matter. Others can be helpful, but can't help if they don't know you need it. Or they won't help if you don't seem like you're serious.

It's way too often that on a day off I do nothing. I lay around all day, watch youtube videos, and eat some food, and before I know it, the day is gone. That's sad and pathetic. But when I'm on my way to work, I have a mental checklist of 8 different things I should take care of, most of which don't really take that much to do.

Thankfully, school has been an exception to my laziness. I'm keeping up with my online classes and seem to be doing well so far. I'm not waiting until the last minute or waiting for tons of work to build up before doing my assignments. I may not work on school every day, but I'm never more than 2 or 3 days behind the live lectures.

I can't help but think if I put my resume together, uploaded to places, and actually went out looking for finance jobs, I might actually find one (I know, I know, the economy is terrible, blah, blah, blah). But I keep making excuses. Scheduling around school might be hard. I should have more education. More experienced people would get it over me. I want to start doing my ideal version of the job rather than a less noble version and getting established first. It's ridiculous. Beginning wages in a professional job would be something like a 50% raise over what I currently make, and I'd be in my preferred field. So why am I really not putting more effort into this? I want to say "I don't know." But I think the real answer is I'm just scared. And that's stupid.